Monday, June 29, 2009

Push Off

What hasn't been written on queuing and the British could probably fit on a postage stamp. However, as the internets is unconstrained by space issues (at the moment) let me add my thoughts, based on yesterday's Bruce Springsteen gig (which was, part-time- music-journalist-speaking, absolutely bloody fantastic).

What I love about gig queues - especially at big gigs like The Boss, where crowds form for five hours before to ensure a spot at the front (which is worth it) - is that even in the mayhem of thousands of people standing in a jumble, there is a clear semblance of a queue. It's made up of arcs rather than a line. So if you're in a certain arc and you leave, everyone around you acknowledges your right to return there after a drinks break or whatnot. It's a lovely, communal feeling, something Bruce gigs at the front have a lot of due to the passion of the fans.

However, woe betide the idiots (and there are many) that attempt to push in. The tactics are pathetic and pass no muster with the diehards: "I'm trying to meet my mate" "Oh yeah where is he?" "Over there" "Well on you go then" and of course this happens at every section, so really they get nowhere. If they attempt to annoy their way to the front - as one weird chap around us tried to do: honestly, he had his spinal cord tattooed on his back - why? If a surgeon ever needed to operate on him it was a handy guide in case he forget where the spine was? Very odd.

He pushed and squeezed and jimmied his way to the front, and people just about tolerated him because he looked so odd. Then he pushed his luck literally too far, and was subjected to a bunch of middle aged people and a few hipster yoofs telling him to F off, before security came and hauled him out - to much cheering. Fair play, the security at the Hyde Park concert were very good.

I overhead one chap try this gem: 'It's not seating is it, there's no real order is there?' Oh how wrong you are my poor, misguided, idiotic, (unwritten) rule breaking, friend. Back of the line!

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