A tall tale

When you're 17 and you haven't seen an elderly relative for sometime they will often say 'My, how you've grown!'. That's fair enough. Between 13 and 21 the human body goes, well, basically mental. However, from 21 onwards it all pretty much calms down. This includes growing.

Yet, as a tall person at 6ft 2" - hardly NBA standard, but enough to mean I can reach top shelf items (oo er missus) - I sometimes think short people, or people below six feet, have a short-term memory problem. Every time I meet up with someone I haven't seen for about a month they say "have you grown again?!" or "God, you're so tall aren't you?!' almost in disbelief, as if the last time they saw me at this same height was a trick of the light or the cause of a slanted pavement. It's not annoying, it's just odd.

You don't see a short friend you haven't seen for a while and say 'You're so short aren't you, shorty?" or a friend who's bald and say, incredulously, "Have you lost more hair?!" But tall people seem to have to suffer the endless shock and surprise of those beneath them who just can't believe that someone is taller than them and yet is exactly the same height as they were the last time they saw you.

Well, I've got news for you. I'm not growing any taller, you're shrinking.