Public Enemy #1

As a resident of Cornwall - have I mentioned that before? - I am fully aware of the problem of seagulls. This news story - which shows that a seagull has started stealing crisps from a shop in Scotland -seems to suggest those interviewed find the seagull an interesting novelty. Well I think it's just the next stage in seagulls evolution into rabid killers. Daphne Du Maurier, a Cornish gal, probably wrote The Birds as a warning to us.

In St Ives there are warning signs to mind your food as seagulls have been known to swoop down and take it. If they nest in your house you can expect to be bombarded if you walk to close as they think you are after their young - and yet trying to exterminate the pest often results in being reported to the police / animal services by some nosey moron. And while we are at it, let's kill wasps too. They serve no purpose and did we really evolve for 4.6 billion years to the top of the food chain just to let some black and yellow stripy bastard ruin an outdoor pint or picnic?

How unoriginal to call the seagull 'Sam'. Steven would have been better. Steven Seagull, menace to society.