Thursday, October 22, 2009

Who are these people?

The following is completely true and took place about a month ago:

Sitting on the underground at Paddington, travelling home on a Sunday afternoon, I stood near two rather loud gentlemen who were having a conversation between themselves. A women boarded at Edgware Road and sat next to them. Instantly one of the two chaps broke off his conversation with his mate and turned to the women. This is what followed:

"You awight darling?"
"Yes thanks," she replied, clearly a bit taken aback by such over-familiarity on the tube.
"Had a good day?"
"Yes thanks."
"What you been doing? Shopping. Hahaha, women love to shop!"
"Haha (awkward laughter). No I've been seeing my mum."
"Ah, Mums are great aren't they. I love my mum (I swear this is true). What you do? Have a nice chat?"
"Yeah..." Is that it?, I could sense she was thinking.
"What else you do then?"
She inwardly sighed "We had a roast lunch."
"Ah I love a good roast me. Potatoes, meat, peas, carrots. Love a roast."

Yes those are the main components of a roast dinner I thought. The women merely nodded and smiled and quickly whipped out a magazine.

"Oh that's friendly isn't it?" he barked. "Look Dave (or Pete or something), she's only gone and got a magazine out. Some people are such c*nts aren't they?"
Friend says nothing. Man leans across to women.
"I was only being friendly."
"So was I," she replied, her voice cracking slightly at the bizarre hostility of the man.

He turned back to his mate and they started talking again. On we went through the darkness.


geordie said...

Did he really speak with a star in the middle of a word?

Dan W said...

At the moment he said that the rails made a horrible screeching sound and a spark of electricity jumped up and appeared as if it was directly in position as if it was coming from his mouth. Honestly.

geordie said...


You know Dan, I'd love to see you on Argumental.

Of course, in some universes that scenario will actually have happened. Allegedly.

Dan W said...

Ha, thanks.

The many worlds / universes theory eh? I went to a talk by Marcus Chown on Wednesday night actually; only short, was okay. Touched on that topic.