Monday, February 04, 2008

Oh Dear

Cliff Richard's interview with Q sounds like it was an odd affair.

Like many people Cliff Richard has mistaken ‘most’ for ‘best’. Because he sold more records than The Beatles and Elvis he assumes he is ‘better’ than them. This of course ignores the fact his music is more middle of the road than white lines and his audience is that entire strata of the population who have a music bypass in their brains.

He’s even attacked George Harrison’s guitar solos as ‘out-of-tune’. Strange that it took 50 years and the incredible musical talent of Cliff Richard to point this out. You would have thought classically trained musicians, or uber-keen fans, or even fans, or even the band themselves would have noticed this in half a century of listening. But no. Everyone else is an idiot and Cliff is a bloody genius and only he can point these things out.

Why stop there Cliff? Come on, you’ve got all these outlandish opinions let’s hear them. There’s a whole 50 years worth of popular music to slate with ridiculous claims. The Rolling Stones (too loud); Bob Dylan (too wordy); Simon and Garfunkel (too many harmonies) – nothing compared to you Cliff.

I mean this is the man who set the Lord’s Prayer to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. Genius. Cliff is so sure of his own brilliance he calls himself the UPS – Ultimate Pop Star. A term he has coined because no one else has. Odd that.


geordie said...

If you're listening to this song
You may think the chords are going wrong
But they're not
He just wrote it like that

- Only A Northern Song

Anonymous said...

I never said the Beatles weren't adverse to writing bad lyrics.

Maxwell's Silver Hammer?

geordie said...

Well, I was referring to his absurd claim that Harrison's guitar work (not solos, really) were out of tune. The silly old git's probably thinking of the occasional sitar appearance and just doesn't understand that it's supposed to sound different.

But yeah, they did do some odd lyrics. Spend most of your time completely fucked -- whether on drugs or religion -- and it's pretty inevitable really. George wrote While My Guitar Gently Weeps after deciding to write a song based on the first words he came across in a random book, ffs, but he -- the 'weakest' writer -- could still construct a far better tune than Cliff Richard would manage if he were given an eternity to do so.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes absolultey. While My Guitar is great but the line, ' I look at the floor and I noticed it needs sweeping' always makes me laugh. Cliff is a musical non-entity.

Anonymous said...

Cliff can sing good but he is wrong about the Beatles. He was named the Ultimate Pop Star because he has more charted singles in the UK charts than anyone else. Bailey

Anonymous said...

No Cliff can sing average. If you base your talent on how many singles you have sold to the Grim British Public you are all wrong.