The art of storytelling

The other day I was listening to a friend tell a story to some other mates – a tale I had heard before – and about half way through I was suddenly struck by the realisation: “this person just cannot tell anecdotes".

 

Every moment where he should have paused for effect he rushed on, where there was no natural pause, he paused, where he should have added a bemused comic face to match the incredulousness of the story, he instead just kept a passive expression. Come the end everyone laughed, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when someone tells a story that’s begun with the preface that this is a tale for your enjoyment.

But the story could have been so much funnier, I thought, if someone who could tell stories had been in charge. (Not saying I could definitely have done better, but I like to think I could).

When someone tells an anecdote they are usually commanding a group of people’s close attention – perhaps just one other, perhaps 500, usually no more than 10 though, often close friends. Under all these circumstances there is a pressure to deliver a return on the time investment they are giving you.

Yet, using that time and opportunity well is an art and skill that few possess, certainly not in any strong capacity, but we all engage in it, and it’s a social skill that can set you apart.

We all know this: we all know people – friends, family, colleagues – who when they begin a story, comic or otherwise, we starting zoning out, listening merely out of politeness, waiting for the punch line or resolution so we can laugh politely and then get back on with whatever we were doing. 

Others, however, who begin a tale and will command our full attention because we know they will tell it with panache, wit, warmth and verve, so even if it isn’t even that funny or interesting, it will be worthy of our attention because we are lift enlivened by their story telling charm.

I think it should be a job requirement: Tell us an anecdote: I bet you can learn a lot about someone from the story they pick and, more importantly, how they tell it.

Arsenal, Barcelona, the global game and Spanish breakdown cover

My last post on my first premiership football game reminded me of a conversation I had with a taxi drive in Barcelona in mid-February that started around the time I was pondering what the Spanish for breakdown cover was.

This was because, you see, we were whooshing past an English number-plated car that was pulled up on the hard shoulder with its hazards flashing.

However, my taxi driver was far more interesting and helped me to really live through that old cliché: "football is a global language".

He was a very friendly chap, keen to talk about London because his beloved Barcelona FC were playing Arsenal that night (this was the first leg of the tie, remember) and he wanted to know if I supported them. I don't.

But, despite his enthusiasm to talk footyballs, he's English was not great, while my Spanish is non-existent. Yet, through names such as Messi, Rivaldo and Ronaldhino we were able to spend a fun twenty minutes discussing the best players the Catalan team had produced and I asked him what he thought of these great players he's seen.

He said was Messi is "electric", Rivaldo was a "great thinker" and Ronaldhino was a "magician". Magician had to be mimed through a charade-like performance of him mimicking pulling a rabbit from a hat.

I got it eventually and we both laughed at this in that lovely, 'overcoming-a-language-barrier-to-reach-common-understanding' way that foreign people do.

For my part I outlined my admiration for Messi by saying, in a lilting, faux-Spanish accent, "Ah, Messi, si, footbul, gol, gol, gol, gol, gol,", as in, he does score a lot of goals, doesn't he?

It was a great way to see that, despite all football's negatives (and there's been plenty recently), it really does provide a common platform that can bring people together from any background and give them something to talk about with enthusiasm and interest.

Oh, and cubierta de la interrupción is Spanish for breakdown cover.

P.S. for non-football fans I promise that's an end to this flurry of blogs on this topic.

Does this bus go to Bootersee?

A wild wind was whipping around the bus station, great lumbering beasts of red arrived and departed, wheezing their way to a stop, waiting for the frozen masses to climb aboard, before lurching off again. But my bus was nowhere to be seen as yet. I shivered, turned the page of book and waitied.

A man approached, I removed my earphones and he dutifully waited for my ears to be clear. Then he spoke.

"Douse thylg bluas gao on bouettersee?"

"I'm sorry I don't understand," I replied, with perfect diction.

"Doses buas ga ta buttersee?"

"Sorry?"

"Bootersee?"

"Oh, Battersea?

"Yes, Bootersee."

"Oh I see, you need to get the 344, it'll be here in two minutes."

"Ah...noot the woon fiv sex?" he said, spying the 156 listed as going to Bootersee, I mean Battersea, as well.

"No, the 156 is very slow, take the 344."

"Ukay."

Then, a 77 turned up. The man pointed to it, as it passed.

"Bootersee?" he asked, hopefully.

"No, the 344, it'll be here in one minute."

"Ukay."

One minute later the 344 turned up. He turned and looked at me, but before he could open his mouth, I said,

"Yes, Bootersea, 344."

"Thunk youa," he replied.

He was a polite chap.

Posted via web from danworth's posterous

Z is for...

Zzz

Why are Zzzs representative of sleep? Is it the shape, the three layered positioning that could resemble the head, body and legs of a person in bed. Or is it meant to be snoring that makes a sound akin to zzz - because, if it is, it's not very accurate is it? A snore is more guttural, more nasally, than the soft, sounds of a Zzz. Make the snoring noise and you'll agree it's far more like this: 'Ckkkkkkk'. Or perhaps you have a better interpretation? Trying to write out sounds that don't easily fit into the sounds of letters is strange.

Did you enjoy the alphabet blogs then? I don't know why I started them, I just thought it would give me a good reason to blog (almost) every day and might through up some random / diverse / interesting topics. I hope it did at least.

A blog on London from above tomorrow. Pencil that in your diary.

Who are these people?

The following is completely true and took place about a month ago:

Sitting on the underground at Paddington, travelling home on a Sunday afternoon, I stood near two rather loud gentlemen who were having a conversation between themselves. A women boarded at Edgware Road and sat next to them. Instantly one of the two chaps broke off his conversation with his mate and turned to the women. This is what followed:

"You awight darling?"
"Yes thanks," she replied, clearly a bit taken aback by such over-familiarity on the tube.
"Had a good day?"
"Yes thanks."
"What you been doing? Shopping. Hahaha, women love to shop!"
"Haha (awkward laughter). No I've been seeing my mum."
"Ah, Mums are great aren't they. I love my mum (I swear this is true). What you do? Have a nice chat?"
"Yeah..." Is that it?, I could sense she was thinking.
"What else you do then?"
She inwardly sighed "We had a roast lunch."
"Ah I love a good roast me. Potatoes, meat, peas, carrots. Love a roast."

Yes those are the main components of a roast dinner I thought. The women merely nodded and smiled and quickly whipped out a magazine.

"Oh that's friendly isn't it?" he barked. "Look Dave (or Pete or something), she's only gone and got a magazine out. Some people are such c*nts aren't they?"
Friend says nothing. Man leans across to women.
"I was only being friendly."
"So was I," she replied, her voice cracking slightly at the bizarre hostility of the man.

He turned back to his mate and they started talking again. On we went through the darkness.

Q is for...

Quantitative Easing.

No I am not really going to talk about quantitative easing, I am not qualified to do so. I could easily quote some experts but there's a risk it wouldn't be quite right so I think I will just stay quiet on the matter.

Q in Scrabble is worth 10 points, and if you play it with the letter 'I' it makes Qi which is the term for the 'Chinese life-force', It's a legitimate play and can make or break a game.

Q Magazine was originally going to be called 'Cue', as in 'to cue a record to play', but, apparently they (being Mark Ellen and David Hepworth (thanks Wikipedia)) thought people might think it was a snooker magazine, so changed it to the far more emblematic Q - and ruined John Virgo's dream of releasing a snooker magazine called Cue in the process.

Q is a troublesome, yet highly interesting, letter and almost all the words it begins with catch your eye in among a sentence of other more humdrum vowels and consonants.

For hardcore Scrabble fans out there, Qaid is a legitimate word too, meaning A Muslim tribal chief, judge or senior official. So there you go. No need to wait for that elusive U to show his horse-shoe form in order to play the killer Q.

He literally exploded

The rise of the overuse of the term literally is nothing new, but last night David Pleat (never one to worry the lexicographers) claimed that Andorra had 'literally parked the bus in front of their goal'. Someone should have a word.

In other news, there was one of the greatest pieces of fielding in the Twenty20 game between Sri Lanka and West Indies yesterday; watch below.



I've also learnt my brother has regular paid gig slots at a local bar in our hometown, which is cool. You can watch some of his musical talent here.

The language of rock

One of the great joys of Wikipedia is that because it is so massively generic and covers, essentially, everything you can find some rather interesting, straight faced, encyclopedic entries for subjects that become quite amusing. The following extract is taken from "Concert Etiquette" and concerns Rock Concerts:

"Concerts of rock music typically maintain more liberal norms. At concerts of hard rock, punk or metal, a mosh pit will often form in front of the stage, in which slam-dancing and the like may be performed, usually in an atmosphere of lively camaraderie and mutual assistance. Dancers who have fallen are helped up, and found items of clothing are held aloft to be reclaimed. In general, singing along may not be disapproved, especially during songs of an anthemic nature. Fans may shout or scream or whistle during songs, but not continuously. Male moshers are frequently shirtless, but total nudity is frowned upon."

'Slam dancing and the like', 'an atmosphere of lively camaraderie', 'total nudity is frowned upon' - what great phrases to use to give a rock concert crowd a sensible description.

Communication Breakdown

This is one of my favourite stories in a long time. As a sketch it would work brilliantly so for it to actually happen is genius, innit?

Of course there is a strong argument to be made for suggesting this story is entirely untrue and is nothing more than a very clever bit of PR / marketing that has such good potential as a news story most papers would happily print as it's good filler. I'm not going to stake my (non)reputation on whether or not it is actually true but either we are all too cynical (or just cycnical enough) or you just have to give credit to the creative mind that was desperatly trying to think of a way to get a story about cabinets in the national press and noticed the potential of 'cab innit' and dreamt up the entire story.

---

When I once taught English to some foreign students I was always amazed by their desire to make up words while playing Scrabble. I've always felt that "woob" - a made-up word a student insisted was real - sounded so good to say, it deserves a place within our fine language.

Title

I was a bit hungover on Saturday having attended the Cardiff Ball so watched the film Mean Girls which was on S4C. It wasn't bad. But my main point was that at a couple of points during the film some Asian students' dialogue was subtitled and on one occasion it said "Your the slut!" - not "You're..."

Now this does make me sound like a pedant, but surely someone at some point in the long movie making process would have noticed this? You would have liked to have thought so.

Word Play

How to confuse people, and possibly yourself, with one word...