Stand up comedians

I finished Stewart Lee's new book this week, How I Escaped my Certain Fate, and it was a very interesting, informative read from the 41st best standup comedian ever, 3!

Following his progress from up-and-coming star on TV and stage, to despair with the profession, back to his triumphant return to comedy (said in best Krusty the Clown voice), the book contained the three transcripts from each of Lee's three most recent stand up shows, with footnotes littered throughout explaining the origins of certains jokes, references being made, or asides to other comedians.

This was the most interesting aspect of the book, hearing Lee explain in detail, often over a page in small, footnotey font (why is footnote font so small?), about his time working with Harry Hill and Robin Day, or explaining that he bought a certain joke from another comedian to help lighten the mood of his otherwise often long-winded affairs.

Reading his scripts without knowing the delivery would give you no clue as to how funny Lee can be, the way he repeats jokes over and over again, with changes throughout perhaps, to build laughter from what could be awkward repetition. Or that, as Lee admits, sometimes is just awkwardness and the audience fails to get the delivery and therefore the jokes.

A final point on the book I found interesting, was Lee's choice of introduction music for his shows.
For each one he used piece of jazz to help him identify, or even turnaway, potential troublemakers: "If they can't handle the music, they probably won't like the show" is Lee's (paraphrased) rationale behind this and certainly one that seems to make a lot of sense.

Overall then, if you're a fan of the man and want to know more about the thought processes behind his shows and the world of interesting, clever, thought-provoking comedy, this book is one for you.

I give it 41/100.

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In the flesh

I like Richard Branson. He's got a winning smile, a good business brain (to put it mildly), and he seems like a nice chap too. Plus his wacky adventures are always headline grabbing.

I was in a room with him last night. He looked very similar to how he looks on TV. Which maybe an obvious statement but sometimes these 'famous' types don't measure up in real-life to their TV angled dimensions. Know what I mean?

Have I Got News For You?

Yes I do. Last night I went to the recording of
Have I Got News For You. Such wit!

The guest host was David Mitchell, with guests Ed Byrne and Turner Prize winning artist Grayson Perry. Interestingly, these two, I felt, were funnier than Merton and Hislop, who while being very good of course, didn't seem to be on top form. Bryne, Grayson and Mitchell (isn't that a law firm?) more than made up for this though.

The show's set is strange as it looks very small in real-life (as opposed to the unreality of a television screen), and it's only when the lights are set to the traditional colour tints that it resembles the set so well-known to millions across the land. Hopefully that picture gives some idea of this

There were only a few re-recordings to be done after the 'end' of the show, which was a blessing as two hours sat in small, uncomfortable seats, having drunk two beers beforehand, plays havoc with your sense of priorities. Mitchell was a consummate host though (as he is on every panel show he appears on) and with only three bits to re-do, and a couple of 'watch this show' clips (including a brilliantly withering put down of a joke he had to read out that referenced the Ronseal advert that I hope makes the final cuts), we were on our way before the clocks had even reached 10pm.

Outside the studios there's a wonderfully 'ITV' piece of television indulgence in the form of a series of hand prints and signatures from such luminaries as Ant McPartlin, Vernon Kay, and Justin Lee Collins, alongside more high-brow members of the television fraternity, such as Lord Melvyn Bragg and Stephen Fry.

Overall, it's great to have been to see such an institution of television comedy, and with Harry Hill's TV Burp to attend in November (which I saw last year in Teddington as well) I have to say live TV recording of quality shows are definitely worth attending.

Will Carling should know better

Will Carling yesterday did a Bad Thing on Twitter. He used trending topics that were totally irrelevant to his posts. This is known as 'Doing a Habitat' - something he didn't seem to know of. He apologised though, once he understood, and deleted the offending posts (I'd taken a screen grab before though, knowing full well he would delete them in time. Click to enlarge).

While I believe his apology is sincere I do find it a bit weird that he did it in the first place at all. He joined Twitter last September so surely knows what the trending topics are all about? Not only that, his claim that 'I was told that's what you did' seems a little spurious. Why would anyone believe that you tag updates with hashtags of utterly unrelated subjects, such as Michael Jackon (#MJ). And who is telling him such things? Does he have a Twitter advisor?

All very strange.

A morning at This Morning

I entered the LDN Twestival raffle hoping to win return tickets to New York, but I didn't. However, I did win a tour of This Morning, to see the show being filmed as it went out live, and got to meet the stars Phillip Schofield and Fern Britton. We also got to visit the "Green Room" (I think it was blue though - amazing how you don't notice these things) and stand in the gallery where they direct the show, ordering the cameras around, counting down the intros and ad breaks, and shouting in the presenter's ears - all while eating toast and talking amongst themselves.

It was interesting to see the set in the flesh and the next time I am ill and strewn mournfully across the sofa watching daytime TV, I will at least now know what it's like in real life. Everthing is framed just so on the cameras to give the impression it's a warm, cosy, quiet living room, while all around are cameras and wires, people carrying clipboards and endless rolls of gaffer tape, all moving here and there at a frantic pace, keeping the show skipping along so in front of the camera everything is calm, clear, and soothing.

At the end of the show there was even a chance to meet Phil and Fern(!) and have a picture taken with them - and this meant we actually got to sit on the sofa, so well-known to millions of people. Amazing.

Other points of interest: Phil has a Cornish flag on his door - legend. We were given a mug with This Morning on it, a signed photo, and a business card holder (?) all of which was very nice, but cutbacks mean these are probably going to become collectors items in the coming years, I'll be stashing them away to let them accrue value. I also saw @schofe log into his Twitter account, not something that many of his 110,000 plus followers can claim to have done.

So although it wasn't quite New York, it was at least, a very interesing, different and unique London experience.

That's all from us, we'll see you on Monday, have a lovely weekend...Dar, dar dar dar da, dar dar dar da, dar dar dar da dat da dar.

Media

Media Monkey: Turning to to the Goody side. Well, says it all really.

Twittering away

I joined the micro-blogging world of Twitter a while back and have started to sort it out. You can follow me if you want by clicking here.

So far my favourite thing is reading the updates from famous people which is quite funny. Jonathan Ross has been in the headlines recently for outing a series of fake famous people on Twitter by simply ringing / texting the people and asking if it's them. A weird 21st centuryness to all that. See this recent update from Jonathan Ross 25 minutes ago:

Wossy I'll call Frankie Boyle and ask him to twitter for real. He came round before xmas to look at comics and I thrashed him at pool !

She has the X-factor

On a cold winter's night, having returned from playing 5-a-side in the biting wind and then be rained on walking home I, and my two housemates, slumped on the sofa to watch some tele. Somehow The Cheryl Cole Factor was our televisual treat of the evening.*

The show set out to underline why Cole has become the 'nations' princess' through a series of events culminating in her 'wise-beyond-her-years' appearances as a judge on the X-Factor.

Basically, you see, Cole has been in a successful (and admittedly good) girl-band after winning 1/5th of a talent contest, married one of the most odious football players ever, had a fight with someone in a nightclub, stood by aforementioned footballer after an affair, and is now a really good judge on the talent show she was once on. And it's this latest role that has really cemented her role as the new 'people's princess'.

Unlike normal humans, Cole can empathise with people who come on to sing: crying when they cry or tell a sad story, or laugh at the bad acts who can't really sing. She's so unique. If only us mere mortals could hope for the same, to laugh and cry at things that are sad or funny.

Really horrible television that left a nasty taste in the mouth.

* It happened because we'd watched the ever-brilliant Outnumbered on the iPlayer and when it ended it reverted back to the channel we had left to access the Virgin OnDemand database - in case you're really, really, interested.

Media darrhhliinggs

Peaches Geldof – who should form a salad with Apple Martin when she grows up (both of them grow up) - has done a Max Gogarty, and written one of the worst blogs in the world. And there are 112 million out there so that’s saying something.

Marina Hyde wrote a withering and quite brilliant rant (in the best possible sense) on Friday attacking the piece that is better to read first, before reading the blog itself afterwards.

Among the many comments, many of which are signed off with 'funny' user names, is one from someone called 'A A Gill' (about 10-15 comments down) and it does read as if it’s by A A Gill, so perhaps it really as him, which is an interesting thing if so. Either way, the comment from this person is also a very savage and incisive cutting down of such a vacuous, hollow and needless piece of writing.

Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

What, in the name of sanity, has Kate Moss done to deserve having £1.5m spent on making a gold statue of her? As far as I am aware she doesn’t have a discernable talent apart from ‘looking pretty’. Essentially she’s done all check-list of pointless celebrity things – clothing range, music video, some charity fundraising – although PETA have criticised her for continually wearing fur – and she’s dated some other famous people.

If Moss is a charitable soul then surely she would want the £1.5m to be given to charity, rather than wasted, on this irrelevant statue, that is nothing more than another hollow example of the all pervasive cult of celebrity. One suspects though she probably isn’t and what work she has done was a case of ‘good PR’.

It’s not to misunderstand art and what it tries to achieve to simply and openly criticise such pointless endeavors as these, and if Marc Quinn comes out with any quotations along the lines of ‘it challenges people's perceptions…’ then we really are entering the world of the mundane – a gold statue of a ‘beauty’ passing for a meaningful piece of art?

She’s, according to Quinn, ‘the ideal beauty of the moment’, which is an incredibly asinine thing to say. That it’s being said of a well-known cocaine abuser who has done nothing of note that will live on beyond her demise is more than a little depressing.

The Hard Sell

My editor has written a book. You can buy it here on Amazon.

She made me publish this.

She didn't really. But an interesting diversion nonetheless.

Not surprising, but...

Front page of the londonpaper last night:

Page 3: Sienna's dishy lunch date.

Page 8: Russia continue with Georgia attack.

This morning off

That was a short break. One day.

Black Eyed Pees (too easy really)

I should point out this is an old story I stumbled across. I don't think it's current.

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It must have been hard for Fergie's PR people to find a way out of the (rather damp and warm) situation she got herself into, if the news that she wet herself at a gig is true - and the pictures would suggest it is. You can't call it a wardrobe malfunction but a 'body malfunction' maybe? Implies she doesn't have control of her own 'needs' though which could mean they have to put her in some sort of home. Or maybe the backstage toilets were just so revolting she would rather be laughed at world wide? Probably not. As it turns out her PR people have claimed it was just sweat. Ahh, yes. Very unusual place for such a distinct sweat pattern, especially as the rest of her is so, er, not wet. She should have worn black though so people's eyes wouldn't have seen the pee. See what I did there?

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To make it "news" - wasn't Live Earth a bit rubbish. Musicians shouting about, "making a difference" and "saving the world" is always embarrasing. I thought Kasabian were suprisingly good though.

Hugh Grant Gets Mean(z)

Well who would have thought Hugh Grant liked beans so much? And hated the papparazzi so much? I feel sorry for him having to deal with people snapping him all the time but he shouldn't have snapped out. Not the first time he's been in trouble either eh?

The trouble is give it a few months and Grant (or any other attention starved celebrity) will be thankful for someone taking a shot of him doing some mundane just so it can grace that weeks gossip mags. But with the privacy laws in a changing state perhaps the age of endless shot of celebrities buying cheese, or picking their nose, is coming to an end?

More or Less

We had the pleasure of a talk from the Real Life editor of More magazine, Helen Roberts yesterday. The main things that came out of the talk was her obvious enthusiasm for her job, but more so was the ruthlessness with which she does her job and the underhand tactics required. Be that from drinking alone in pubs to try and get talking to Kerry Katona's friends or lying to people to guarantee stories.

The moral issue of all this is debatable. But if people didn't want their stories published then people like Helen wouldn't have a job. Journalism has many strands. From the FT, the Guardian, Word Magazine, or More; each does its job for its audience as well as it can. It depends on the strengths and desires of the journalists who work for them.

It was a very interesting afternoon and underlined the hard work required on any type of magazine, as well as the diversity and satisfaction the job can provide.